Lifeaholics Anonymous

I’ve heard from a few experienced surfers that a big part of going professional is being able to judge not just the wave thats in front of you, but picking the best wave out of the set.  They say that you can only do so much on anyone wave, so the selection you take in a heat is critical.  And generally the first in the set is never the best.  But neither is the last so you cant just wait.

Decision making in life is just plain difficult.  When presented with a set of options, how do you make a choice? And once you’ve made that choice, how do you know that you made the right one?   I dont think that you can ever have a definitive answer to either of those questions.    But you can use the tools that you have to make the most educated choice, and then deal with the outcome.

One key that I’ve learned to help in decision making and have a hell of a time implementing is - PATIENCE.  Staying cool and evaluating the entirety of the situation.  If you can do that and apply your experience, you can be fairly certain that you made the best decision you could have at the time.

I just found myself where I was torn in two directions at once and had to make a snap judgement.  I went with what seemed quick and easy, when I knew that I should have gone with the other choice, and it was because of impatients.   Thats what I’m disappointed in, not the outcome of the situation.

I’ve never met a friends girlfriend that liked me.  NEVER. No matter how cool they thought I was, no matter how well we got along, no matter what.  The reason?  Lifeaholism is a huge threat to their concept of relationships. 

Almost every woman wants to be the one in control in a relationship.  They want the man to chase them, they want the man to drive them around-take them out to eat-buy them gifts.   I have no problem with any of that and actually believe in being chivalrous - to a point.  That point is where that kind of behavior is RECIPROCATED.   I believe in equality and following the golden rule.  But why do these girlfriends expect to be treated like royalty if they don’t want to their man the same way?   Storybooks, movies, gossip etc leads them to this misconception of what they think they want in a relationship.

Apply this thinking to any other relationships you have.  If someone at work always wanted you to do their work for them and wouldnt do any for you, would you do it?  (If you said “yes if its my boss” then you should seek another job).  If one of your boys was always drinking your beer and never buying any, would you call him up to hang out?  Why do guys treat women any different?  If you said because they are insecure and scared of being alone, you are partially correct.  Additionally most guys are just as confused about what they want from relationships for the same reasons as women are!  I think the same rules should be applied to ALL relationships.  Treat people as well as you can, but always respect them and respect yourself.

So whenever one of my friends girlfriends meet me they immediately see that I am going to be in a POWER BALANCE in my relationships (controlling them is so boring and unfulfilling).  Then they say “well if I let my man hang out with this guy, I’m not going to be able to walk all over him.”  Well guess what ladies, that princess treatment is eventually going to get old. And before you know it you will looking for attention from someone else.  We all need to be with someone who we RESPECTand are attracted to.   Because no one wants to have someone walk all over them.  When lifeaholics are hanging around, we’re doing you a favor because lifeaholism is all about freedom and self-expression.  So ask yourself, do I want a shell of this guy I like or do I want to see what hes really like.  The sooner you find out, the sooner you’ll know if there is real potential.  And guys, your woman will thank you later when she realizes how much more she is attracted to you when you stop acting like a WUSS and start expressing yourself.

Always think positively and surround yourself with people who do too. 

I was proven this tenet time and again, but specifically last night.   I’d been pretty dismayed over the last week or so about dropping the ball over this 9.  Then last night I dusted myself off and got back in the game.  And I’ll be damned if I didn’t stumble into the opportunity of a lifetime.    Opportunities are always there, but you must have your eyes open to see them. Stay positive and eventually, things work themselves out.